Millie Nielsen is an exceptional volunteer who has worked with Hospice For Utah for nearly a year. A dedicated and wonderful asset to our team, we’d like to share some of her experiences in deciding to become a volunteer and as a hospice volunteer.
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My decision to become involved in hospice care stems from my experience with hospice and my own mother. I was living in Kansas and my mother was in a nursing home in Missouri at the time. I went to visit her for a few days every month and had seen her three times the month prior to her passing. When her doctor called stating that she was declining rapidly and needed hospice care, our travel plans were weather delayed and it took nearly twenty four hours before I could get to her. Upon entering her room, there was a hospice volunteer sitting by her side and holding her hand. Volunteers had been coming in four hour shifts through the night just to hold her hand and that meant so much to me, especially since she had so loved having her hand held in those final months. Just a few months short of being 98, my mom died on my seventieth birthday. I find that to be of special significance, as she brought me into the world and I was there for her as she left on that same date.
My first few months of hospice volunteering were somewhat disappointing. I felt that I should be making some kind of a monumental flashy difference or change and that wasn’t my experience. But as I learned to focus on the patient and their needs more, my expectations changed and I realized the value of my presence.
I had one patient in particular who was one hundred and one years old. She was alert and sharp but had almost no clear memory of her life. Although she never remembered my name when I went to visit, her eyes lit up when I walked through the door. Once after visiting for a few minutes, we found ourselves with little to talk about. She apologized that she wasn’t a very good conversationalist and I told her that friends don’t need to talk, they can just sit together. After that there was no tension or concern for talking and I was amazed to see how much we grew to love each other and feel so connected even though we didn’t really know that much about each other. Sometimes I think that words can actually take away from that presence of being there with someone. Volunteering has been a very positive experience as I enjoy offering companionship to my patients and am flexible to help wherever needed on a visit to visit basis, as every time is different.”
